Happy Weekend
T'was a long week indeed my friends. I'm entirely spent. I have the listless energy of a houseplant; rousing only with the wind of an open door. Even wearing my fluffy, feather light bathrobe is wearisome.But I do not want to miss my weekend! No going to bed early while the adults cavort into the night. I want to wear a fancy dress that makes noise when it moves, and I want a glass of champagne who's bubbles foxtrot all around my teeth. I want to grab a friend, in matching fancy frock, and find two chandeliers for us to swing upside down with our arms outstretched roller coaster style. Undulating back and forth, back and forth for hours until we get dizzy sick, or have stomach aches from laughing too hard.Yes, the big girl panties were definitely worn this week. I've earned my weekend of rest, rejuvenation, and romping.illustration by Ingela och Vi on jedroot.com
From true friend to celebrity parasite
I have a feeling that's what I'm about to become people. And I'm totally fine with it. Let me explain.The d-bag factor in Orange County is extreme. I have to be tip toe light, lest i step in the way of your canary yellow H2 Hummer, as you drive adorned in your storm rider, True Religion, boot cut jeans in a deep shade of "body rinse," with your painted on Buffalo graphic, rock star rivet, long-sleeve tee, and obligatory (thank you John) Ed Hardy hoodie. Costumed up like this, you guys merely waste time driving around Newport at two in the afternoon on a Wednesday afternoon, smoking cigarettes and blaring Nickelback. Except for when you, oh so mannerly, turn the volume down trying to get girls' cell phone numbers at stop lights (cuz that works.) And you always seem to end up at cougar den Javier's so you can have an audience to see you bark "park my baby up front." (I swear to god, EVERYTIME i go there some jack-ass says this to one of the hardworking valets.)Don't these men know they scream: "Look at me!!!! Look at me!!!! Over here!!!! Over here!!! I'm absolutely TERRIBLE in BED!!!"?
What's sad is this is the standard here. Apparently, I'm the snarky biznatch with no sense of humor or taste. So when I do find those rare, fetching fellows like my love, Marcos Prolo, I hold on for dear life and cherish every knook and cranny of time spent together. Yesterday, we were able to play work together on a shoot for Avia shoes. It will be his last anonymous day. Tonight he premieres, and I want you all to watch and fall in love just like i have. Although as we know with these shows; editing is key. Up until now, I've refused to watch this show due to the fact I live in this ridiculous bubble everyday. Isn't television supposed to be about escapism? But I'm supporting my original kitten. Because after this when he's a big star (as he should be) i'm hopefully still going to happily be his little bitch, sycophant, or like i said earlier, star-sucking parasite!!!Here's some shots of today:
I want a f*cking cookie!!!
shooting today. ready to eat my fist i'm so hungry. giant bean and cheese burrito (extra cheese, extra sour cream) waiting for me at the end of the day.
All the concealer in the world.....
isn't going to cover up the hot mess creeping and crawling around my kisser. I must be camera ready tomorrow, and it's more like ready for my possession of crystal meth mugshot. Those fourteen pounds I was supposed to lose over the weekend actually developed into a 2 pound accrual. At the time, my wine was telling me "birthday cake (2 days worth) is cleansing and detoxifying." I should have known better. Wine also once told me, "guys think it's really hot to pick out places to honeymoon on the second date."I'll let you know how tomorrow goes. I was cast for an athletic shoe commercial/DVD. Keep your fingers crossed they don't fire me upon arrival.* image Eleanor Hardwick
Now that I'm here, Now that you're near in Xanadu
My friend, Grace, turned nine this weekend. She was gracious enough to invite me to her skate party. I decided to channel my inner Olivia Newton John. What's sad is I didn't have to buy a single thing. What's sadder is many didn't think I was in costume.
I'm sorry
As I write this, the "facts" keep changing, but one thing remains the same: more of our brave soldiers have lost their lives; only yesterday it was here on U.S. soil. In the last 24 hours, additional military families have lost sons, daughters, dads, moms, brothers and sisters. I can't comprehend their grief. I'm just a stupid, spoiled, sheltered girl living a ridiculously unscathed life because of THEIR courage and commitment. These are the men and women I should truly be devoting my time to; rather than Molly & Jason.I don't know if it matters to them, but I'm hurting for our military and their loved ones. I'm sending as much love and supportive energy their way. Ugh. I wish I could do more. I wish I could cover for a soldier tonight; I wish I could sub for him or her so that they could take the night off, hang out with their families, mourn a friend, get stinking drunk, or just catch up on sleep. I feel helpless and lame, and know I DON'T get it.Sorry for the drab post. GRrrrrrr.*image: Sduffyphotography.blog
Weigh in please
So HH and I are planning our next honeymoon, and we need your help. We can't decide whether to go on a relaxing vacation: think lounging by the pool somewhere tropical (Bali, Costa Rica, Belize.)
Or do we go on a "trip" where we actually learn something, see new things, smell new scents, etc; thinking along the lines of Egypt, Russia, or New Zealand.
So what do you think? Rest, relaxation and foo-foo drinks under an umbrella? Or the camels and I comparing toes in the desert?For the record, our first honeymoon was both a vacation AND a trip. We Eva & Juan Peron'd our way all over Buenos Aires for the first five days, and then rejuvenated in Carmelo, Uruguay for the last five. The perfect honeymoon combo bite.
*photos: aman resorts, www.mythicalireland.com
Welcome to the Jungle
Well now i know why other pilates/yoga instructors dim the lights when they teach. Last night I subbed a class where The Royal Teens finally have their answer to "Who Wears Short Shorts." Two seconds into a single straight leg stretch, and I was transported into a 1970's porn.
Gentlemen. Ladies. Clippers? Razors? Nair? Wax on, Wax off? I don't care just something. Please remember there are others to consider when you decide not to practice good housekeeping.Signed,Eyes still bleeding
Am I in Hollister or J.Crew?
Christmas in November!!! Yippee Skippy!! So i made my way to J.Crew; newly discovered credit in hand, drool catching bib around neck. Decisions! Decisions! As you'll see I was obviously in an accessorizing mood. There's only so much I can do with black yoga pants and a tank these days.My shopping experience was almost perfect............Since when are they hiring pre-pubescents at J.Crew? or better yet, when did I become an adult, buying clothes on my own, without my mom?J.Crew always has the chicest (translation=older than me) bevy of fashionsitas working the store, gussying me up into that second dappled dot cardigan, or convincing me that my life is not complete without the La Plume satin peep toe. They know better than I do because they're older and more mature. The J.Crew saleswomen are supposed to be more high feathered than me, have stretch marks, and be able to tell me where they were when Kennedy was shot, etc. My fashion insecurity knows no bounds; I need that assurance that can only come with fine lines and wrinkles. What's worse was their feigned ignorance at our giant age difference!?!??! "Molly", spunky as she was, was still WAY TOO YOUNG to be calling me 'honey." Molly, not only am I'm old enough to have nursed you; I'm also old enough to have taken you in during YOUR unplanned, teen pregnancy. You should not be calling ME "honey." It's the first time in my life I actually would have preferred "Maam." This new brood consisting of unversed, over eager, baby chicks needs to learn their place in the pecking order. Until this waterloo is amended, it's Jcrew.com baby.All was not lost though; thank god for things sparkly and shiny!!! My attention was easily diverted from the High School Musical II scene on the floor to the jewelry case. Here's a glimpse of some of my treats!!
Mostly Treats
Can't we have Halloween on Saturday night every year??!?!?! My black cat costume attempt wasn't very ambitious I know. As the night wore on, and my makeup wore off, I resembled more just an OC dumbass too stupid to put her makeup on properly. Most neighbors assumed I just didn't dress up again.I always make chili on Halloween. This is the first year though that HH and I are non-meat eaters. It made for many pre-spookfest go rounds; after which both of us are so sick of chili I'm glad we only have it once a year. After much error I came up with the following recipe which taste best made days in advance (just sayin.)
Vegetarian Chili
1/4 cup olive oil
2 cups chopped onions
1 2/3 cups coarsely chopped red bell peppers (about 2 medium)
6 garlic cloves, chopped
2 tablespoons chili powder
2 tablespoons dried basil
2 teaspoons dried oregano
1 1/2 teaspoons ground cumin
1/2 teaspoon cayenne pepper
2 15- to 16-ounce cans kidney beans, drained, 1/2 cup liquid reserved
1 15-to 16-ounce can black beans, drained
1 16-ounce can tomato sauce with basil and garlic
1 bottle dark beer (negro modelo is what i used)
Chopped fresh cilantro
Sour cream
Grated Monterey Jack cheese
Chopped green onions
Heat oil in heavy large pot over medium-high heat. Add onions, bell peppers, and garlic; sauté until onions soften, about 10 minutes. Mix in chili powder, oregano, cumin, basil, and cayenne; stir 2 minutes. Mix in beans, 1/2 cup reserved bean liquid, beer and tomato sauce. Bring chili to boil, stirring occasionally. Reduce heat to medium-low and simmer until flavors blend and chili thickens, stirring occasionally, about 15 minutes. Season to taste with salt and pepper. Like I said best made days in advance. Makes about 4 portions.
Ladle chili into bowls. Pass chopped cilantro, sour cream, grated cheese, and green onions separately.
I also made what could be the EASIEST salad EVER. I got it from Sunset's November issue, and it's perfect for this time of year. The sweet of the pears and maple syrup with the sharp mustard and frisee' is delicious!! I would also use arugula, but we had some friends who aren't arugula fans (still evaluating this friendship for that fact alone.) I like using the Asian Pears, and not just because I'm half Japanese (although.......it's the least you can do, i mean, hello? Hiroshima? Nagasaki? use an effing Japanese pear please,) but they do taste better in this salad. The recipe calls for champagne vinegar, but I didn't have any so I used white wine vinegar. It also calls for Kosher salt; I didn't have that either so I wore a Yarmulke while I added sea salt.
Pear Gorgonzola Salad
1/4 cup Champagne Vinegar
1/2 Cup extra-virgin olive oil
1 tbsp maple syrup
1tsp dijon mustard
1tsp kosher salt
2-3 heads frisee, trimmed and leaves separated
2 pears halved and thinly sliced
1 cup pecans toasted
3/4 c crumbled gorgonzola cheese
Whisk together first 5 ingredients. In a large serving bowl, combine lettuce, pears and pecans. Drizzle dressing over salad and toss well to coat. Sprinkle cheese on top and give another quick toss.
Serves 12
Happy Monday! Love, Katie
Fairy Princess Flu
Well I'm still F*cking sick!!!!! I know it's not of the piggy persuasion, but it's a flu nonetheless. I STILL feel just as lousy as if I were to have the oinker flu!!!! Why do those porkers get all the attention? My fever's just as high?! My body aches are just as debilitating!? Stupid, narcissistic hogs!I've decided that, like swine, my virus should get a catchy name and special distinguishing characteristics: The Fairy Princess Flu. Similar to H1N1, except not transmitted within pigpens, it's symptoms are sleepiness, not liking anything in one's closet, not really wanting to go to work, wanting to catch up on Mad Men episodes, and cupcake cravings. Sometimes there are chills, but that's usually alleviated with a cashmere cardigan. Forget Tamiflu, it's imperative to keep champagne on hand during FP Flu Season. Fellow fairy princess, Amanda, filled my Veuve Clicquot prescription, and left the elixir right on my doorstep yesterday afternoon so I didn't even need to go to the pharmacy/liquor store.Wishing all you fairy princess' and prince's a Happy and Healthy Halloween. Love, Katie
*images Vogue Korea
I Dare You to Disagree
Come on? I'm totally right! Cleaning out one's junk drawer is just like cleaning out one's ass: best done wearing gloves, by oneself, when everything else has already been scoured speckless.Yesterday, I found myself, alone in my spic and span house, with a few free hours and a pair of rubber gloves......Magic was made.Post magic I've now found my favorite missing blush, my tiny, travel bottles of Maker's Mark, and 1 of 3 nightguards. (Yes, i grind my teeth. Yes, i wear that giant, attractive apparatus to remedy this nocturnal problem. Yes, when I sleep, I look like a head gear wearing Anthony Michael Hall in "Sixteen Candles." Try and make fun of me, and I'LL KILL YOU.)But the most incredible thing I found?!?!??!?!?!: my J.CREW receipt/store credit from 2007!?!?!?! How in the HELL did I forget about this?!??!?! I've heard those horrific stories about those mothers who forget they've left their babies on top of their cars, and then drive off? I can totally sympathize now. How could I forget about my credit??? How did I go all this time with all that (practically) free merchandise waiting for me to come rescue it, and bring it home? So sad. So scary. I think Beyonce should play me when they convert this harrowing story into a movie.Today, I'm stealing away to right this wrong. And, NO............ I didn't find my J. Crew credit in my colon!!!!!!!???!?!*images Tumblr
What Dinner Looks Like When HH Works Late
Bourbon: Good
Cupcake: Good
Borrowing the dog's insulin: Good
Ah, to be young again....
I don't know if it's sexier, but it did feel great getting carded yesterday buying beer for chili. The thrill of being mistaken for pre-21 lost a little of its luster when questioning cashier took 10 minutes to put on his coke-bottle glasses to actually check my ID, used a walker to pony up to the register, and had to put his teeth back in to tell me my bill.
Canine Flu
Well this pretty much sums up the view of my weekend. Except for the two classes I taught on Saturday I pretty much have been in my bathtub trying to get warm. Even though, remarkably, the thermometer reads I am QUITE toasty??!!?!?!Swine flu you will not have me! I do not eat swine, I do not socialize with swine (by choice), and I'm certainly not going to be infected with your silly cliche'd virus. I've decided instead that this is the canine flu. If I were to get a virus I would much rather it be of the pooch variety, so that is the way it will be (arms crossed.)Grand illusions of tag sales, planting succulents, reading Tolstoy, adopting a Korean orphan (with special needs of course,) and re-picketing the front fence were dashed friday afternoon when my fever spiked so high I started conversing with my nightstand.Six shots of Nyquil, 4 doses of Comtrex, 100,000 Oscillococcinum pellets, and a partridge in a pear tree later, and I was not only still sick, but I was crazy high from all the Nyquil.Sunday night I felt I owed HH. He had scrapped all of our weekend hijinks in exchange for taking care of Althea Flynt. I rarely cook for my beloved. It's not that I don't love to cook for him, but it's so much easier to nap instead.
Two different stir fry's with the intent to arm us both with the phytonutrients necessary to stave off any other virus' and or bacterium that try to come knock us down. Watch out muthafucka's we've eaten our veggies!!! GRRRRRRR!!!!
And lastly, because it's that time of year, and because he is the hunkiest of hubby's' I made pumpkin bread for HH. I must say the recipe I use is AMAZING (I omit the walnuts,) but another incredible recipe (and 90% less time and energy) is the Trader Joe's Pumpkin Muffin/Bread Mix.
Stay healthy friends. Love, Katie
Amelia
The movie Amelia opens today. I don't want to see it. I kinda already know the ending. Sorta like when everyone ran out to see Titanic???? Didn't they already know the punchline? But I must say I am slightly obsessed with Miss Earhart. Why you ask? Why do my pupils dilate a tad darker when I chance an image or story of this celestial siren? Is it because of the trails she blazed in our sky? Is it for her plucky, independent streak that shattered glass ceilings for us girls? Do I love her because she defied society's gender rules, and still maintained her feminine allure? ...............No. I just really like her clothes. She dressed totally rad and badass, but still managed to look elegant and chic. Look how effing cool she is:
If Miss Amelia were with us today she would rock Jean Paul Gautier's Hermes, Ready to Wear Fall, 2009 collection. For once, I don't detect much circus or mania in this Gautier batch; just beautiful, polished, 1930s inspired designs.
Off To The Lighthouse.......
So I FINAlly finished Geraldine Brooks' "People of the Book," a novel spanning five- centuries through Europe and the Middle East, telling the true story of an ancient illuminated manuscript: the Sarajevo Haggadah. Usually, I'm a pretty quick read, but having read Brooks before I should have known better. I won't go into minute, atomic, thorny, lengthy detail because that would be just plagiarizing the novel. Brooks is certainly informative. So is Wikipedia. I could have just read her "afterword," and come away with the same opinion in 30 seconds rather than 2 weeks.The best part of finishing a book is getting to pick the NEXT one!!! It's like the night BEFORE the big dance. What to pick? What to pick? I haven't read a GREAT novel in a couple of years. I read William Lobdell's fantastic memoir, Losing my Religion, which I feel he wrote personally for me (i'm such a narcissist), and which still stays with me today. Sorry Mom. Sorry Father Jerome.But I want fiction!!! So why am I picking Virginia Woolf, where apparently plot is a non-issue, stream of conciousness rules, prose is serpentine and challenging to follow, and the main character is fragmented and two winks of a cuckoo clock????? Um, Hello? Maybe this is MY memoir??No, I thought it was finally time I had read myself some Woolf. I thought reading The Hours by Michael Cunningham counted as reading Mrs. Dalloway, This also from a girl who thinks buying the soundtrack to Schindler's List counts as seeing the movie. I'm ready. I've got my raincoat full of rocks, and I'm ready to read.Let me know you're thoughts on Virginia.
Oh My Stars!!!!
Michael Stars that is.....
For all this time I thought Michael Stars was good for just yoga tees and leggings. Boy was I wrong! We just got a sparkly new boutique in the neighborhood who's windows summoned me into a game of dress up this past weekend. HH played Richard Gere to my Julia Roberts' whore as I tried on frock after frock. He still owed me for the empty toilet paper roll, so I settled up with these three shifts.
But perfect dresses to match my new favorite nail polish:
And my old favorite Isaac Mizrahi for Target Mary Janes!!!:
A Public Service Announcement
This is Drugs
This is your FACE on Drugs:
Any Questions?????????????????
image: BEVERLY HILLS, CA - OCTOBER 16: Actress Lindsay Lohan attends a court hearing at Beverly Hills Municipal Court on October 16,
Weekend? Gone so soon?
Weekend? Where did you go so fast? Was it something I said; you seemed to vanish so quickly? I found myself sitting in bed this morning, covers up to my chin, looking out at the empty, lonely monday morning, calling out "call me?" in a sad, pathetic effort inspiring you to a quick return.I know we didn't start off on the best foot? Friday evening, precious time and IQ points were lost that will never be regained: 
At least my crepes of butter and cream, with a side of mushrooms, saved the evening from a total bust:
Saturday we regained our footing. I taught three classes, one of which was "Pilates for Pink" which raised some money for breast cancer:
Post tuck and squeeze I decided my toes and fingernails needed a little spiffying up:
Date Night with HH still has me giddy and swooning.....................................................
And how about sleeping in on Sunday morning (well 6 am is sleeping in for me,) with 2 french presses, 3 newspapers, and an outing with Truman?
Finish it off with an afternoon nap, Lapsong Souchong tea, and dinner with friends. The only thing missing was a tryst with the family, and it would have been the perfect weekend.Weekend, please hurry back.