tell me loves.....
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bxnEz6qUuT4]
what tickles you most from jenna's italian jaunt?
marissa's coral magic lippies?
those mouth-watering bowls of pasta?
shiny and squared, perfectly lacquered nails every sixth frame?
tension easing gelato breaks?
or afternoon espresso in the piazza?
buon giorno italia!!!
*thank you mrs burns for the 'nudge'.
the meditation isn't working....
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhh!
i need earplugs for the silence!
my {many} attempts to go inward and still have rendered me in slobbering fits.
i want to pluck a banjo whilst wearing a tutu;
not find my breathy bliss sans pretty pictures in my head.
how do you nutjobs people do it?
is my music not sitar-fused enough? my kundalini too j. crew?help please.
i'm determined to nail this zen shit.
Am I in Hollister or J.Crew?
Christmas in November!!! Yippee Skippy!! So i made my way to J.Crew; newly discovered credit in hand, drool catching bib around neck. Decisions! Decisions! As you'll see I was obviously in an accessorizing mood. There's only so much I can do with black yoga pants and a tank these days.My shopping experience was almost perfect............Since when are they hiring pre-pubescents at J.Crew? or better yet, when did I become an adult, buying clothes on my own, without my mom?J.Crew always has the chicest (translation=older than me) bevy of fashionsitas working the store, gussying me up into that second dappled dot cardigan, or convincing me that my life is not complete without the La Plume satin peep toe. They know better than I do because they're older and more mature. The J.Crew saleswomen are supposed to be more high feathered than me, have stretch marks, and be able to tell me where they were when Kennedy was shot, etc. My fashion insecurity knows no bounds; I need that assurance that can only come with fine lines and wrinkles. What's worse was their feigned ignorance at our giant age difference!?!??! "Molly", spunky as she was, was still WAY TOO YOUNG to be calling me 'honey." Molly, not only am I'm old enough to have nursed you; I'm also old enough to have taken you in during YOUR unplanned, teen pregnancy. You should not be calling ME "honey." It's the first time in my life I actually would have preferred "Maam." This new brood consisting of unversed, over eager, baby chicks needs to learn their place in the pecking order. Until this waterloo is amended, it's Jcrew.com baby.All was not lost though; thank god for things sparkly and shiny!!! My attention was easily diverted from the High School Musical II scene on the floor to the jewelry case. Here's a glimpse of some of my treats!!
I Dare You to Disagree
Come on? I'm totally right! Cleaning out one's junk drawer is just like cleaning out one's ass: best done wearing gloves, by oneself, when everything else has already been scoured speckless.Yesterday, I found myself, alone in my spic and span house, with a few free hours and a pair of rubber gloves......Magic was made.Post magic I've now found my favorite missing blush, my tiny, travel bottles of Maker's Mark, and 1 of 3 nightguards. (Yes, i grind my teeth. Yes, i wear that giant, attractive apparatus to remedy this nocturnal problem. Yes, when I sleep, I look like a head gear wearing Anthony Michael Hall in "Sixteen Candles." Try and make fun of me, and I'LL KILL YOU.)But the most incredible thing I found?!?!??!?!?!: my J.CREW receipt/store credit from 2007!?!?!?! How in the HELL did I forget about this?!??!?! I've heard those horrific stories about those mothers who forget they've left their babies on top of their cars, and then drive off? I can totally sympathize now. How could I forget about my credit??? How did I go all this time with all that (practically) free merchandise waiting for me to come rescue it, and bring it home? So sad. So scary. I think Beyonce should play me when they convert this harrowing story into a movie.Today, I'm stealing away to right this wrong. And, NO............ I didn't find my J. Crew credit in my colon!!!!!!!???!?!*images Tumblr
F*ck You J.Crew
As if i didn't hate myself enough? Just when i had tucked and squeezed my half-japanese quads into your "skinny jeans" (mind you with the help of K-Y and a shoe horn) you have to throw toothpick jeans at me?!!??!
Apparently it's the "superslim silhouette of the moment." I'm hoping in Jenna Lyons' next moment she'll be a little more sensitive to those of us who like a little frosting on our cupcakes, us who like to taste our food just once (not twice, on round two, with the back of a toothbrush,) us who take Ritalin truly for our ADD. J.Crew, maybe next time you will come up with something a little more creative: nacho lover knickers? linebacker leggings? redwood tree jodhpurs? Hopefully, you'll be a little more sensitive to their buyer and her low self image of herself. Until then, I'm requesting that you make the toothpick in cords as well, and does anyone know any Phen-Phen friendly pharmacists?