Softer than a baby's......
I think the last time I had a facial there was still hot, steamy sex happening in the Gosselin household . Don't get me wrong I'm a complete skin product junkie. I can spend precious (working) hours on beauty blogs, thousands of dollars (over the years honey) on creams, serums, and potions, but when it comes to settling down, and committing to that 2 hour date with an esthetician I'm a total George Clooney. My lovely friend, Alexei, though spoiled me with a gift certificate to her facialist, and the expiration was fast approaching. I knew I'd be in great hands. Alexei is stupid pretty with skin so creamy and smooth you want to serve her in a bowl with sliced strawberries. I want to hate Alexei, but she's so effing nice and lovable instead I've just made her a close friend so she can give me street cred.Let's just say the bitch's secret is up!!! Can you say "dermaplane" baby? Dermaplaning is a skin resurfacing procedure that uses a special surgical blade to scrape away the top layer of dead skin. This scouring of the skin lets the underlying layer of smooth, luminous, baby skin to surface. Dawn Haymond, at Beauty Laser & Wellness in Newport Beach, Ca, apparently is the Southern California dermaplane extraordinaire. This is Alexei's magic wizard, and I can see in the mirror why. A one hour facial with Dawn and her "shank," and my skin is truly transformed. Now the only question is whether to put a diaper or sunblock on my face???!Happy Weekend! Love, Katie
Priscilla gets a Time Out
Don't let those inky, kohl eyes fool you!! Pink feathers doth not a lady make. Unfortunately, Priscilla's pre-rescue days surfaced yesterday.Post work, groveling through the front door, crippled from tucking, squeezing, and pelvic flooring my clients into gods and goddesses, I tortuously grinded to my sugary, sweet, day's end dividend: Our Halloween Bowl. Reeses Peanut Butter Cups! Why else do we have the month of October other than for Reeses Peanut Butter Cups? HH and I are, already, on our second bag (damn neighborhood kids???.) But what do I find.............? Not, a "just replenished on Tuesday with two economy sized Target bags" bowl of candy, but a barren, empty, shiny (do i smell Pledge?), desolate, hollow bowl. What else do i find?
Yes. Our little hooker from the streets took our Reese's out the bowl, out of the wrappers, one by one. Almost ladylike. Our other two schmos, Sawyer and Truman, sure as hell wouldn't take the time to remove any packaging, lest it slow down their inhalation. Truman eats Sawyer's vomit for god's sake. But at least the boys know proper house decorum, and judiciously excused themselves from participating in their sister's binge. I know this for a fact for two of the three beasts are quiet and sweet smelling; the third smells and sounds like a frat house. Grrrrrrrrr.P.S. We are aware of the dangers of chocolate poisoning and dogs. We are keeping a vigilant eye on our little, naughty girl. She is showing zero signs of toxicity, just self-disgust.
Send in the Clowns
I know I'm not in the minority when I say "clowns scare the crap out of me." Given the choice between: a dark alley, with an 8 foot, open sored, knife-wielding, schizophrenic, Richard Ramirez wannabe, OR cupcakes and cucumber sandwiches with a clown? I say, "bring on the Abreva baby."Genuis', REED + RADER, have augmented my anxiety with their recent work for Spiral. Make sure you linger on the scary biznatches' faces so you can the full creepy effect. 
One Shot!!!!
My amazing friend Greer Wylder, the busiest woman I know, recently shared with me her newest project/passion: "One Shot." I'd like to share a message from her and incredible trailer of the new documentary "One Shot." I feel so honored to be included in the "One Shot" buzz. Please spread the word and the trailer.From Greer:One of my four sons, Tristan, 18, was diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes (an autoimmune disease) nearly four years ago. He's now insulin dependant for life, which is not a cure, it's life support. Since he was diagnosed he's given
himself more than 8,000 injections of insulin, and has pricked his fingers for blood nearly 16,000 times. It's been a tough time on all of us. Even though he looks like a picture of health, his fluctuating blood sugar levels can cause catastrophic damage to his liver, kidneys, heart, eyesight and more. Type 1 Diabetes is life-threatening, difficult and it doesn't go away. I work hard as a board member of JDRF (Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation), which funds research for a cure to Type 1 Diabetes and its complications. I won't give up until there's a cure for Tristan and the hundreds of millions of people living with diabetes around the world.
Apart from my work with JDRF, I've been introduced to two inspiring documentary filmmakers from New York, Lisa Hepner (a Type 1 Diabetic too) and Guy Mossman. They're in production on a film called "One Shot," a documentary about Team Type 1, a team of international professional cyclists all with Type 1 Diabetes who are competing to become the first diabetic athletes to conquer the Tour de France. They are hoping to get into the race by 2012. With exclusive access, "One Shot" will follow the team over the next three years. They want to do for Type 1 Diabetes and diabetics what Lance Armstrong has done for cancer research and cancer patients. You can preview the documentary at "One Shot" trailer.
I'm very passionate about this film, and Lisa Hepner and Guy Mossman of Vox Pop Films have asked me to be executive producer.
This film will educate, entertain and inspire the audience, whether you have diabetes or not. Everyone understands a struggle. It's also a way to generate awareness, funding and research to find a cure. This film will reach a worldwide audience. It's a great story, period. And it will bring us closer to a cure.
The completion of "One Shot" depends heavily on the generosity of donors, both individuals and corporations. And all contributions are tax-deductible, and donors will be acknowledged in the
credits of the film. My overall goal as executive producer is to raise $500,000 to help fund this film.
If you'd be interested in making a donation to get this film made or know someone who might (or both). I'll contact you within the next week to gauge your interest. In the meantime, if you have any
questions, please contact me at greer@voxpopfilms.tv or 949.300.8713.I look forward to hearing from you.
Sincerely,
Greer WylderTenth Muse Films
A 501(c)(3) Non-Profit Corporation275 Degraw St.#4Brooklyn,NY 11231[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=72NCRWvFOxc&feature=fvw]
Monday Meditation
Ever since seeing fashion photographer, Roberto Dutesco's horse photograph in a Christine Lane Bedroom I haven't been able to get these gentle faces out of my head. This month's House Beautiful features one these prints in a dining room Thom Filicia did for their Designer Visions showhouse. Just gazing at them for a couple of seconds calms me down, hitting sweet spots which inspire me to be kinder and more humane. Instant meditation for this sometimes crazy, scary world we're living in. I've included a link to give you more information on these exquisite equines, but first I encourage you just to enjoy these peaceful, elegant, wise creatures. love, Katie (yes, that's my real name)*images courtesy of DutescoArt.com
How could you Ralph Lauren?
So the blogs are burning up this week over Boing Boing's accusations of possible photo-shopping by Ralph Lauren. The ad, originally featured on Photoshop Disasters, features the already gaunt Fillapa Hamilton, slimmed down to a cartoon-like figure in jeans and a sleeveless blouse. With arms razor-thin enough to slice suzuki for my rainbow roll, and a thimble sized waist, Boing Boing's Xeni Jardin blogged: "Dude, her head's bigger than her pelvis." Apparently, tis not "cool" to speculate on hip bone to hip bone ratios in the fashion world; Ralph Lauren filed a Digital Miliienium Copyright Act against Boing Boing and Photoshop Disasters for using the image to criticize/for commentary.
Can you say backfire? Unfortunately, for RL their filing has actually just drawn more (negative) press and attention; they are now the hot company to blame for the rise in body dysmorphia . The flames over body image and retouching have been stoked.I pray this will be the tipping point for designers; that they will finally get the message loud and clear they have to STOP doing this to girls. Year after year, season after season these reckless designers throw these ads at us women, and it just destroys us. Upon seeing this ad I immediately felt that familiar self-hatred only fashion can stir within me. As always is the case I started bingeing, purging and cutting myself. Putting Sheryl Crow's "I Shall Believe" on repeat, I opened all the windows and doors in the house, took to bed, and rocked myself with my thumb in my mouth for hours. How are we women supposed to cope with these types of demands!?!?!?!!??!!?? How am I supposed to wear such ugly jeans!??!?!?!
Venerating Valentino
Where do I begin!??! I've never been so excited for Spring in my life. Oh Valentino, you give me the vapors (hand to forehead, dramatically falling back into my sofa.) Maria Grazia Chiuri and Pier Paolo Piccioli have created a magical amassment of satin, organza, lace, and ruffles; all celestial candy colored coaxing me into silly grins and shrieks of glee. I would give anything to twirl round and round in those giant, buoyant bows and flouncy, teeny skirts. And the satin, short shorts couldn't look more chic paired up against the billowy, tulle strapless ruffles. It was so hard to narrow my favorites down for this post. I could get married in each one of these looks.......hmmm? How tacky is renewing one's vows at the 18 month mark?
* all images courtesy of coutorture.com
The Monster Mash
It's Halloween time my friends. I know that because I'm on my third bag of Reese's Peanut Butter Cups. I have always hated this holiday. I hate dressing up. I hate dress up parties. It's always a competition among women my age as to who can find a "costume" that allows them to whore out the most. I've seen it all and it's so tired: naughty nurse, little school girl, french maid, cheerleader, catwoman, Eve, and my personal favorite: officer kinky .
I've scoured the internet. The following are very popular this year or just simply make me happy:
- Love Boat's Julie & Isaac
*images courtesy of costume idea zone, healthy and active, scrapetv.com & brooklyvegan.com
If you see Janet
This is Janet. She works the Red Carpet desk in the United terminal of the Denver airport. Never before have I witnessed such blatant social ineptness in my life. She wasn't just downright discourteous; she was beastly. Wielding her six inches of barstool height as if it were competency and endowment, Janet smugly and indiscriminately bounced travelers, too inelegant for her taste, from entering her precious Red Carpet Club. Whereupon you were wearing the same eye shadow as Janet, Wet -N- Wild MegaEye Shadow Trio in Island Blues, she would allow you behind the escalator no problem (thank GOD my dark circles mimic the look.)
When the 85-year-old, World War II Air Force Veteran showed his card for the lounge, tight-lipped Janet closed her eyes in disgust, shook her head, said his card wasn't "good" at her location, and to please "move out of the way, there's a long line of people." Luckily there are more decent people than there are Janets. The gentleman in front of us quickly grabbed our war hero, and signed him in as his guest. You'd think this biznatch would keep her mouth shut, wouldn't you?!?! Oh no, she loudly reprimanded the gentleman telling him he's "breaking the rules and diminishing the Red Carpet Club;" and that he must "gather up" his guest before he leaves. I'm usually of the mindset that we all should be treated equal, but in the case of Veterans (yes i'm capitalizing) all bets are off. I know I'll never comprehend the valor, strength, loyalty and sacrifice these individuals have made. Thus, when possible I know I just need to shut my big, fat mouth and pay RESPECT. T'was not the case for Miss Janet. My mouth is still agape at her vulgarity and ignorance.
Janet, I'm sorry you were born with such bad taste. I'm sorry the banana clip went out of style, and that Chico's stopped carrying your favorite Navajo embroidered, denim skorts. I'm sorry your husband would rather drink pond scum from Love Canal than take you out to Arby's for a meal. But that doesn't give you the right to act like such trash.
So readers, if you happen to be in this vicinity I urge you to stop by, and give Janet a little encouragement/lesson in human decency.
Well, one out of two.....
So much for my bachelorette weekend of late night debauchery, dancing on bar tops, downing shots with the gusto of a sorority pledge, and middle of the night raiding of the mini bar. Six seconds in to settling into my assigned seat I started to sneeze. It hasn't stopped. Along the way, my sneeze has accumulated a fever, runny nose, sore throat, headache and over all cranky disposition. F*ck Me!!! Of course, being the eternal optimist did I pack prepared to get sick?!?!?? Of course not. No, I do not bring Tylenol or NyQuil, but I DO pack 7 different strands of pearls and 3 cocktails rings (did i mention this is Wyoming?) And forget about just trotting down to the nearest Rite Aid, on our way to the hotel from the airport we do not pass one pharmacy or drugstore, but we DO see a baby bear cub and his mother (swear to god.) 
But, oh how they took care of me at the Four Seasons. One sound of my sniffle, and without having to say a word a tray of hot tea, crackers and jelly beans was delivered to my room with a sweet note to "feel better soon." The following afternoon I had a message checking on my sneezing status, and inquiring if i needed anymore medicine or tea. I was able to achieve 80 minutes of Nirvana in their exquisite hotel spa. Jenny, the massage therapist, undid the last three months of tension and toil courtesy of my spin bike and pilates classes. As nice as the massage was, I think my favorite part is the post treatment time when we all convene, faces glistening and hydrated, hair oiled and slick, temperaments tame and giddy. Reclining by a fire, under those cozy blankets when you're so unfettered the chat and giggles just stream out. Getting hammered on ginger tea (my only imbibing all weekend,) laughing until your stomachs hurt, crying until your stomachs hurt.So, while i didn't stay out past my bedtime with the rest of the girls drinking those second and third bottles of wine, "bumper car-ing" their way back to the room as Amanda so aptly recounted, eating pizza under the covers at 9am, and drinking tequila on a saddle at the Cowboy Bar. I DID get my rest and relaxation. For that I am grateful and considerate it a successful girls weekend away.
Diggin' it ........
Fall colors, Fall wardrobes, Fall meals, Fall fragrance, I definitely get into my seasons. I even have a Fall soundtrack. Gone for the summer are my sultry Cowboy Junkies soothing away sunburns in pitch dark, under a swirling ceiling fan. Adieu to fevered, fiery Edith Piaf blaring throughout the house on a Sunday morning as the sun sizzles us into a lazy day surrender. Ingrid Michaelson's newest album "Everybody" is perfect for the moodier, melancholic mornings of autumn, and the darker afternoons when a cup of Earl Grey tea is more inviting than a glass of lemonade. 
I must say this is a rare release where there isn't a single track i skip. There are definitely a few songs that I replay over and over again. "Soldier" is my favorite, and I devour it morning till night. I defy anyone NOT to like this song. This coming from the same girl who, as a freshman in high school, blew out her Sony Discman listening to Paula Abdul's "Rush Rush" ten thousand times in a row.[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YpAao7nMhuc&feature=related]
My second favorite is the title track "Everybody." I put this one on, and the beasts and I have a rockin dance party. Hearing this tune, one can't help but grab three golden retrievers and twirl around the house like mad monkeys. [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TlFCfkyuQM0&feature=related]
Happy Romping to you and yours! Love, Irene
My New Holy Grail!!!
I've found it!!! My miracle worker!! My saving grace!!! My sud in the bucket!!! This week i had to face the facts. The breakup of 2004 is finally showing up in fine (not fun) lines around my eyes, and my days pre bucket-hats are rearing their ugly heads with unlovely melasma spots on my cheeks. After heavy research I stormed the Neiman Marcus makeup counter having narrowed my options down to two products: Clea De Peau Beaute' Concealer and Laura Mercier Secret Camouflage. From my profuse online investigation I was more than convinced that one of these concoctions was going to transform me into the Kelly Garret I know I have inside of me. 
But low and behold, I happen to stumble upon a NM salesgirl who's not counting the minutes until she breaks free for Cosmos at Fleming's. Bridget looked at my wreckage, and said I'd be much happier with the Yves Saint Laurent Anti-Cernes Multi Action Concealer. 
And boy was she right!! A couple of dabs here, a few swipes there, and it was like coming home to my early twenties........in really great lighting........after six cocktails......maybe with some veiling. But nevertheless, it DID make me happier. Just to quell any doubts with my other pre-conceived product notions we did a blind Folger's taste test of all three. Definitely the YSL was the best. NO question. So if you're looking for that new makeup marvel, flutter your way down to get this little stick of love. If you need visual proof, here's what I looked like walking into Neiman's
and here's what i looked like walking out:
Thanking my lucky stars....
i know most of us wish we were gorgeous 18 year old Sport's Illustrated swimsuit models, but I for one am thanking my lucky stars (and lucky charms) that I was/am not. Case in point, eighteen year old Israeli supermodel Esti Ginzburg:
If i looked like this when i was a senior in High School, there'd be no doubt i'd be on my 16th pregnancy, and i'd have herpes coming out of my ears. At her age my emotional I.Q. was equal to that candelabra she's holding. I wouldn't have had the self-esteem and poise to handle all the lecherous creepers I'm sure are writhing onto her path. Let's hope she has amazing parents (like i did) who are protecting her, and giving her the street smarts that will keep her virtuous and virus free.So, no i'm not going to resent you Miss Ginzburg. Rather, i'm going to be grateful not hateful, (oh, this is so new and exciting?) and i'm going to thank you for making me remember my bushy brows, my chub rub and hormonal acne with a loving kindness i've yet explored. Namaste'.
Sorry if you don't hear from me in the coming weeks......
but apparently Vicky is looking for some fresh faces and bod's. That cow, Heidi Klum, gets knocked up as often as the sun sets so I'm sure, behind my back, my contract's being negotiated as i write this.
Eerie Etsy
i wish i was Martha-y enough to jack-o-lantern my house during October, but I'm definitely craft challenged. I drive near a Michaels and I start spiking a fever. But that's not to say I don't like to be seasonal. Alas, the closest I usually to get spooking up the homestead is painting my fingers and toes a nice shade of "lincoln park after dark," and lurking around room to room pretending i'm a werewolf. This year i may have a chance though with these inexpensive, not so cheesy , Etsy offerings......although the dogs do like it when mommy plays monster.
decisions, decisions....
Next weekend I'm hijacking my girlfriend's bacherlorette weekend with her sister-in-law to Jackson Hole. Now, I've never been one to wear mis-matched socks, but my friend Amanda oozes style. She rocks an Hermes cuff with her snap-legged yoga pants like nobody's business. When we hang she's Blair Warner to my Natalie Green. Except Nat and Blair are allowed to consume copious amounts of champagne in these episodes.Although I don't leave for another 4 days, I'm usually pretty much packed by now with a complete list of hour by hour (sleeping and waking) wardrobe changes (yes i see a shrink, and yes she's on speed dial.) I'm using the following to inspire me:
But who am i kidding??!? I don't know how to fish!?! Amanda in nature?!??! Fishing poles in our hands??!! It'd be like two monkeys fucking a football (thanks mom for that gem.) No, no, no.......I'm thinking shiatsu, bloody mary's for breakfast, coffee by the fire, traipsing the village square with mugs of hot chocolate, and gourmet meals ruined by our uproarious laughter at the next table.Mr Lauren's 2009 fall line had some plucky duds I could see myself stomping around town making merriment:
Just a little piece of advice for the weekend.......
Yes, boys she may look like an angel in that flattering 3-Thirty-Three lighting, but she still may not be "clean." Where ever you are carousing this weekend, boys and girls, make it safe and sanitary. Love, Irene.
Does anyone have a paper bag i can borrow?
because no amount of concealer can help me with the hormonal havoc happening to my face this week!!!!
HAPPY FALL!!!!
Happy Vernal Equinox to You! Happy Vernal Equinox to You!! My sundresses and white, linen pants are packed away, Happy Vernal Equinox to You!!!!
Here's to Pumpkin Spice Muffins, Samsara Perfume, Brothers & Sisters, cardigan sweaters, porch lights before 6pm, pomegranate and patchouli candles, and toe nails in Chanel Black Satin.In homage to falling leaves let's watch some falling drunks......love, Irene.[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kJtGcHiILwg][youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q7HzsLg4KJs]