sweat & tears
top of the morning monday to you m'loves.
how did miss weekend treat your tender hearts?
i popped back and forth across the emotional ping-pong table of my precious aunt's latest hospital stay.
we yo-yo'ed between tears of hysterics, like on friday when we listened for hours to patient, in bed #4, hold the nurses hostage with her "diaper" in exchange for more oxycontin; to sunday where tears of frustration poured over her white blood cell count.
i pity the yoga mat, spin bike, and in this weekend's case, the water rower, who bared the brunt of my unleashed sadness.
led by master trainers, jay blahnik and josh crosby, yesterday i took the fantastic teacher training for indo-row, a crazy-fun, group fitness class that gives you a killer cardio workout AND strength and flexibility training. you can't say the same for spinning, treadmill classes, etc.
it's a team spirit atmosphere, building community and camaraderie; which i think we can all use in these divisive times, no?
it was definitely a new fitness experience for me and challenged me to the point where i hadn't gone to in a long, long time. i had scary flashes back to running "the apple" in junior high, coming in last, looking silly, etc. indo-row is NOT like that, yet it does inspire a youthful, competitive spirit. that post race feeling with my team felt exhilarating, and the longest stretches of hard work never lasted more than 90 seconds.....if that. you can bet each paddle, each stroke was for my aunt charla.
i'm so excited indo-row is coming to my club.
tell me, m'loves, what gave you goosebumps this weekend?
weekend happy
enough said.
happy mother's day mom.
weekend happy to all the momma's all over the world.
thank you all for the lovely birthday wishes, you sure do know how to make a girl feel splendid.
big kiss!
march
true to form, monsieur march came in like a lion;
surly and base, big paws swiping madly in the air.
agile as a cat, i luckily avoided any pops or scrapes to the face and bod.
silly little lions can't knock me down;
i'm always ready for a nice tangle and scrap.
scratch that. not true. pants on fire.
i HATE confrontation.
i'm quite the chicken.
cluck. cluck.
i'd rather hold my tongue than rumble.
my legs have a nice cozy spot for my tail.
but with all the bumps and barnacles i must share what else march has tendered:
homemade key lime pie.
mumford and son's tickets.
this year's first bloom of my jasmine plant.
a friday evening of french cuisine and friends.
new screen doors throughout the house.
a family dinner.
new bedroom furniture.
my dad's birthday.
my mom's beautiful smile.
spin and pilates students giving me goosebumps with their dedication.
blog posts making me cry, scream with laughter, and happy dance {sometimes all at once}.
my beasts discovering the art of spooning.
plum blossom bath soap.
pink nails.
hunkiest.
and finally the privilege of talking to you m'loves.
thursday happy to you!
weekend happy
just a little closer please.
one more step.
weekend what took you so long?
forgive me if i grip a bit tighter than typical.
this girl may get a little greedy with your time.
hope you don't mind.
weekend happy to you m'loves
happy weekend
m'loves, riddle me your plans of weekend treat.
i will be working the whole way through.
{giant, dramatic, lea michele sigh}
i hope you're getting a giggle from these silhouettes.
designer, wilhelm stahaele, handcuts these vintage silhouettes,
and then adds his own tasty dash of naughty and quip.
each had me chuckling louder than the next.
{ill advised when sitting alone, attempting to maintain that grunge, frustrated writer, coffee house look.but now that i think of it, my extra shiny penny loafers and cotton candy pink ribbon bracelet ridiculed any angst image i was trying to create}
who am i kidding? i'm a preppy poser at heart.
according to wilhelm's website, when he's not frightening small children with his disfiguring looks he schleps his works for profit.
i've saved my favorite for last.
shitstorm is a pet and prized term in our household.
we use it like mustard. and we put mustard on EVERYTHING.
{last night i had a touch of egg salad with my mustard}
happy weekend dears.
a white blank page
white blank page.
clean slate.
excuse me miss, but do you sell disinfectant for my brain?
something to comet and pine sol the doubt and bitten lip memories loitering in my head.
rejections of ...... the way life used to be.
the jolly and jolt of acting is losing its luster with each no and not right.
telephone silence slashing and slicing into my ever diminishing kettle of pluck and nerve.
BUT
don’t mistake me for dreary or bleak; the opposite rather.
yesterday was a task in wrangling my inappropriate giggle fits.
and each hour i'm given moments so hallmark it's amazing i don't walk around in a 24 hour cycle of blubbering ado.
a phone call with my aunt char, edith piaf at a cafe', a sparkly beret on ella, bird of paradise in morning yoga, a woo-hoo from one of my spin students, feeding the hungry, twirling, howling beasts, texts from my dad, dinner with my 'family', a kiss goodnite from my hunkiest.
a deluge of delights flooding my life.
shame on me if i choose not to recognize them.
so for now i've scoured the deep cornices of my cerebral cortex.
clogs, snags, hindrances begone!
at least until tomorrow....{a girl knows her limits}.
click image for source
angel kisses
kinda not hating on my freckles these days....
when i was young and not so fancy on my freckly face; my aunt charla told me my spots were merely kisses from the angels above. i had a smattering of specks so this narrative helped me out of some angst- ridden, adolescent hiding.
this is also the aunt who told me thunder and lightning is the sound of dead nuns and priests bowling strikes in heaven.
kreativ blogger
i'm sure there was some sort of mistake.
i'm so not worthy of such an award,
but, in what i suspect was copious amount of black tar heroin consumption,
the divine deborah of dumbwit tellher bestowed the very generous kreativ blogger badge upon moi.
to say i have procrastinated is putting it mildly: she gifted me march 1st.
tis how i roll. i'm still sending out wedding invitations, and we're coming up on our 2nd year anniversary.
i tend to fall behind.
part of my hesitance has been the job of summoning up 7 personal items of substance and circumstance to impart upon, you, my loveliest of readers.
i can easily give you 7 things that are annoying and compulsive. but the former......i gots nuttin.
rather than try to dazzle i will go for the informative route. these may not be sparkly, antic facts, but all are true and differentiate me from the all the other mouthy, half-japanese/half caucasian, childless, compulsive eating, newport beach housewives around here.
1. i am terrified i will be the worst mother ever. we're talking joan crawford style wretched. i'm in love with a baby i haven't even conceived. but i'm deathly afraid said child will be asking hh for someone more adept and competent with her first words.
2. i love gummi bears. but only the haribo brand. and only the orange and yellow bears. i won't touch red, white and green. they taste like someone else's regurgitated jello shots: a senior graduation trip to puerta vallarta i'm still trying to forget.
3. i like to have things planned way ahead of time. and i make lists like ina garten makes cobblers.
i'm a moronic-scheduling-maniac, who writes everything done in my filofax (yes, i still live in the 1990's), re-syncs it in my blackberry, and triple confirms it to my desk calendar. i even schedule my spontaneity.
4. i take multiple baths everyday.
5. crickets. i hate crickets. i also hate silence which, in effect, is pseudo-crickets.
6. my left pinky toe lies horizontal. i was born with it this way. we call it bitch toe.
7. i am always cold. i wear a fluffy, cozy wrappy all the time to keep warm. even in 100 degree costa rica sunshine i had goosebumps. it's no longer adorable to my hh, but to still to get his attention i dramatically cry out, "baby, i am frijoles!!".
yes, i know this translates to " i am beans." BUT i like the way it almost sounds like "i am freezing", and it makes him smile.
so there you go. my seven things. it only took me 4 months to figure them out, put them to paper, and post.
i'm apparently supposed to tag the kreativ blogger onto 7 other blogs to keep the party going.
argh!! i hate that i have to narrow it down to 7....
duel living, jeune marie, sweet nothings, reverie, trust your style, with love from pittsburgh, and audrey onassis.
feel free to accept the tag if you like or pass it on to your discretion.
thank you again deb. you set the standard, oh goddess of katy, texas.
happy weekend
first and foremost. it seems i was a bit vague in yesterday's cheetah post.
my tongue is still in my cheek dears. no, i did not really want that cat for my wedding.
maybe him. but not cheetah.
moving on......
sometimes this is my idea of dreamy.
but then i get a glimpse of those grey-green, blue, in just the right light, eyes of my hh, and my fantasy world resembles a scene more comme ça.
a little coffee, conversation, and confidence (pronounced "con- FY-dence"-let's not lose our minds).
soon my inhalations take on a greater depth, and that awful tangerine noise machine i have inside my body, soothes into a misty mint green.
the clouds and i waltz anew.
happy weekend.
and when the world is through with us, we've got each other's arms....
A father is always making his baby into a little woman.
And when she is a woman he turns her back again.
~ Enid Bagnold
happy father's day.
aunt charla
today is my aunt charla's birthday. i need a separate blog, years long, to really convey the love and importance of charla in my life.
she lived with us when i was young.
back then i'd get scary fevers where i'd believe the coffee table was coming to get me. for some reason i remember charla most when i was sick. she'd sing to me. i'd feel safe.
listening to the song now, i'm a puddle of emotion. back then i just loved how pretty my aunt's voice sounded. and how she'd weave my name into the song.
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w2fFBp38kh0&feature=related]
no offense mary, but charla's voice was prettier.
i love you auntie char. happy birthday.
off i go
goodbye weekend. good riddance to pity.
nothing like a visit with adored aunt charla to send the scary sadness away.
grilled cheese and homemade lentil soup help too.
new week. fresh start. favorite detests the mopey; he's always commanded a certain dignity. a characteristic his two siblings consistently and miserably fail to supply.
i ferociously ride into this headwind of hurt with my heart lifted high, shoulders square, wearing my sincerest smile.
i get to love.
that's not just icing. that's icing and rainbow sprinkles.
click image for source
happy weekend
this weekend i need a roomy shirt. a long, loose shirt with stretched sleeves.
a shirt i can leave untucked so i don't fret about a stomach not sucked in.
sleeves to hide freakish goosebumps. whom appear even when doppler reads 80 degrees. warm (to some).
this weekend i hope to wear a mint green scarf of low blood pressure.
i'm going for a bit of a drive. happily. a treasure chest awaits me. i will gladly stay to the right of everyone else. listening to her, breathing in......
breathing out.
favorite and i will read. feel like i'm missing pages or worse a soul. i need an emotional socket converter because i'm not feeling anything yet, and (oh my) the story is sad. i read. unmoved.
{yet, i saw a pigeon in a parking garage wednesday night, and i boo hooed for 30 minutes straight, imagining he was stuck there away from his family.}
we're waiting for the next available bed at the local sanitarium.
my mind lately is one loud pinball machine. bang bang. bounce bounce.
i want watercolor emotions just for a month.....
click image for source
miss independence
Some just need to grow outside the family of the forest.
We have the same branches and leaves. But my roots are here now.
Maybe in this spot, by myself, I can be seen.
click image for source
Simple Things
christina is hosting the simple things today.
a call out to bloggers to "show what we appreciate, and what we are grateful for - no matter how big or small, these things may seem."
if christina asked me to dig ditches with her all day long in the hot sun, i'd be the first to sign up.
in an effort to help the haiti rescue and rebuilding, she is giving one dollar to doctors without borders for every participant.
thank you christina for inspiring me daily. here is my laddleful of love to you:
katie's simple things 1/27/2010
freshly scented, french milled soap
clean, empty notepads. ready for my days' plans, ideas, and aspirations.
homemade morning coffee. french pressed with ground cinnamon. a mug reminding me what matters most.
waking up in the middle of the night holding hands with hh.
fresh, inexpensive, trader joe's flowers on my desk
our sweet tree standing tall again. post storm destruction. so glad we were able to keep you in the family.
peanut m& m's, and don't you dare try to substitute plain!!!!!!
profanity. terrible, i know. i'm a good girl otherwise. i just like to swear.
perfume before bed, after my bath.
afternoon naps.
mornings. the promise. the second chance.
this song.......it renders me tear faced every time i hear it. but happy, oh my god, i'm so damn lucky kind of tears.
it's hard to have animosity in your heart with this music in your soul.
i'd love to twirl on fence posts with you, na-na-na'ing to this song.
happy wednesday. love, katie
cloud nine weekend
oh my! don't you just love open weekends that just melt seamlessly from no plans set, let's see where the hour takes us to ....well isn't this delightful and unexpected? this morning i found myself making snow angels lying in bed; giddy still from our joyful non-events.
i think the weather played a major role in my dreamy weekend. seventy degrees, skies pale blue, just enough clouds to make it girly and scenic.
let me summarize (smile).
the beasts got an outing to the park.
football silliness at the local high school.
a presidential 40 yd field goal kick costing hh to fess up the big dough in a lost bet.
i found my new favorite nail shade.
the MOST beautiful flowers (big, fat peonies!!!!!) delivered to my doorstep
a fish taco so delicious, only expletives and moans suffice.
a bubblebath or two. or four or five.
where i finally finished a nice, didn't suck, book of short stories.
all the while green fiddlehead fragranced the house with tea, clean cut grass, and spearmint.
and as you can tell, i'm back to taking photos again. sadly, alice, at only 3 months old, was on the fritz. a lemon. i had to return her. tamra is her replacement. i'm already attached. tamra the camera is a sassy shot and hasn't given me any grief since we've started courting. i think i've found my new dance partner.
happy monday friends!
click book, nail polish image for more information.
happy weekend
dahlings what are you plans for the forty eight hour holiday? dancing? drinks? dates? my plans aren't set.....yet. i know there will be huffing and puffing, and tucking and squeezing. and that's just when i'm on the clock.
one thing i am craving is more girl time.
belly laughs. the crying that unclogs that thing in your throat that's been there for months. head on my shoulder as i play with your hair, looking for split ends. omitting prepositions and nouns......we know what you mean. your index finger to the sky swirling, head bobbing up and down, eyes rolled.....even with your mouth full of chardonnay it's crystal clear: your husband's boss' wife, the one who got so wasted at the christmas party, wants to be best friends and won't leave you alone.
i need more of this. even better if we don kimonos, smoke from long pipes, and play dominos.
happy weekend. love, katie
click image for source.
We're on a Road to.........Somewhere
the car is packed. the playlists are complete. this evening, after my last class, the beasts, hh and i will depart for a 7 hour road trip.tonight begins my favorite week of the year. pebble beach.my entire family under one roof for 6 days. thursday we'll feast at the lodge. i think i've had halibut the last 5 years. no mom's stuffing, no aunt charla's pumpkin pie, no dad carving the turkey. and thank god, no marshmallows amidst yams???!??! (seriously, are you kidding me with that?) this thanksgiving tradition is the only i know, and i crave it all year.13 of us in one house. a lot of ativan prescriptions.divorce. reconciliation. secrets. court. businesses. loans. illnesses. death. this is family. this is my family. this is my beautiful, perfect family. for all the painful tears shed, there have been more tears cried out in hysterics playing cutthroat matches of michigan rummy, or spilt over mugs of coffee during marathon morning fireside funnies. pretty much all my brother has to do is look at me a certain way, and any beverage i'm drinking squirts out my nose in convulsive laughter.
don't get me wrong. i'm sure we will always tote along our buckets of bitterness and "our" versions of the past, but it doesn't change the fact that i bloody love these people to death. and, for this one week when we are together, i have a smile in my stomach, and my face, and i twirl from my eyes to my toes.*images: www.flickr.com/photos/bobmerco/4021421641/www.flickr.com/photos/anezmablack/4126787098/in/pool-blackandwhite