nightmare
i had a terrible dream this weekend that somebody famous died. awful.
the last time i had a nightmare like this was eleven years ago. i dreamt i watched edward kennedy die. a horrendous accident. i somehow saw it happen, but can't remember the exact manner of death.
dreams. foggy and muted, yet so real you're still looking for the marks on your arm from wrestling with the monster.
waking up panicked and unsettled it took me a bit to accept my night's tribulation was merely that.
i needed to focus instead on my italian midterm i had to take in 6 hours (i'd been cramming two days-no tv/radio).
walk downstairs, turn on the tv, breaking news:
"aircraft carrying john f. kennedy jr, carolyn and lauren bessette is missing"
as i slept, john kennedy jr., carolyn and (her sister) lauren bessette died in a plane crash flying to his cousin's wedding.
total coincidence i know, but i think of it often.
i didn't take the midterm. i felt like a freak, and i thought everyone else would think so too.
i met carolyn bessette once. as a teenager. i was getting my haircut at the red door in new york. this was when everyone was seeing oribe. i, instead, had my first cut layers by the sweetest man named danilo. he had just bought a puppy and had stacks and stacks of pictures he wanted to show me. i was more interested in the models (yasmeen ghauri, tatjana patitz) holding his puppy in pictures than his actual dog.
before my haircut, my mom and i sat in the waiting room deciding what to do with my mass o'hair. this beautiful blond girl jumped into our conversation. she told us she worked for calvin klein. she was adamant that i ask for layers in my thick, half japanese hair. she told me i was pretty (at a time when i couldn't have hated myself more). she said her name was carolyn. i think she knew i was miserable and sad. she didn't have to talk to me. she could have read her magazine like i do when i wait for my hair. it's sometimes the only time i get to be quiet. she reached out and made a difference.
a couple of years later we saw her in the papers. she was so much sweeter in person than what we saw in the press.
weekend round up
bowling, braids, beverages (of the adult variety) and boys.
does it get more fun?
it does.
calico kerchiefs on freshly groomed beasts.
vanilla shakes shared with a steady.
weather so warm play time wraps while the grass is still wet.
an afternoon nap. a blanket of beasts. windows open to the bouncy boats on the bay.
that cup of coffee showing she loves me.
this echoes through the house this time of year. one can't help but smile sweetly, and wish love for others when listening to such pretty music.
and if you can...stay the fuck away.
fancying you the finest week ever m'loves.
happy weekend
2:30 alarm today. has anyone read the healthcare bill? say anything about a national naptime referendum?
all in favor say "aye".
a giant thank you to meghan, shannon and deborah for their meth face advice.
deborah, the last 10 checkups have included a thyroid check. in addition to meth face, i have crazy night sweats (think underage gay boys/studio 54 dance floor).
and when i'm not changing my sopping wet clothes (amazing i found a fella) i'm teeth chattering, freezing cold (wearing a parka in 90 degree weather). yet, my butterfly gland shows normal.
as for the gluten. i've never heard of it causing skin issues. ever since elisabeth hasselbeck stopped eating gluten it's been my mission to consume as much as possible. i'll try the celiac diet, but if i start squeaking in gibberish and quoting unicorns please give me back my wheat.
but give up dairy girls?
as in burrata con foglia and jasper hill cloth cheddar?
like for more than a 24 hour cycle? does this include greek yogurt too?
can't i just hold my breath all day instead? or make out with them instead?
anything, but give up dairy.
(sob)
(sob, sob)
grrrrrrrrr
really now? 33 years old and i have the skin for junior prom.
i rid myself of the coffee.
{kinda}
ditched dairy.......for a day.
i've had every peel, potion, and prescription known to cameron diaz.
i still wake up with meth face.
i'm hoping all this blotchy rudiness will translate into delayed onset wrinkle entrenchment (d.o.w.e.)
i must say both parents and both sets of aunts benefit from d.o.w.e.
the japanese-irish clans have fared well with their whiskey/sake elixirs.
as of today i'm relying on kate sommerville. i was promised her new product would do "wonders" for me.
i have enjoyed her spa clinic, and her quench serum is definitely the bee's knees for rendering faces fetching and fancy.
i'll be back with the results.
fingers, toes, eyes crossed.
a novel idea
help me darlings. i'm strung out on so-so books.
the last books i've read:
olive kitteridge, the help, the book thief, cat's eye, the secret of eden, unaccustomed earth, hotel of corner of bitter and sweet, and cutting for stone have all left me feeling blase´ and unmoved.
all rave-reviewed and recommended, but all left me feeling like seattle's best coffee: meh.
i just started mudbound. again: recommended and raved.
what do i like to read? fiction. historical fiction. i'd rather not learn anything real going on in the world right now, thank you very much.
here are some of my favorite books:
(click cover for more info)
any suggestions?
morning meditation
save for sundays,
i wake when it’s pitch dark.
early morning and i have always fancied one another.
coffee, candle, clean crisp thinking.
i’m my most guttural come 4am.
i’ve ceased reading/watching morning news.
she’s been stirring our souls instead.
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4BXNRwxNeNM&feature=channel]
no need for downward dog.
THAT voice centers, calms and soothes me into a perfect nook of space.
off i go.
peace.
morning meditation
save for sundays,
i wake when it's pitch dark.
early morning and i have always fancied one another.
coffee, candle, clean crisp thinking.
i'm my most guttural come 4am.
i've ceased reading/watching morning news.
she's been stirring our souls instead.
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4BXNRwxNeNM&feature=channel]
no need for a downward dog.
THAT voice centers, calms and soothes me into a perfect nook of space.
off i go.
peace.
happy weekend
i see you spring......
scarves of silk and swishing skirts are anxiously waiting to come out and play.
it's time for sweet peas and apricots to shoo away the dusty doldrums of season sad.
bows and boudouir.......with remnants still of boyfriend past:
i hear you calling. patience. you'll get your time in the sun.
for now i will steep in these last hours of wistful winter.
maybe the tears outscored the laughs this season,
but, at least once a day, something beautiful took away....my breath.
impossible to be pouty in pink...
i was looking around and couldn't help but chuckle at all the girl that seems to be invading the house of late.....
here's a favorite to keep you in a blushing mood day long:
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D41-Bz1oNcA&feature=player_embedded]
keeping it pretty in pink today loves....
so not to get pinched......
to go with my green beer today...
happy st. patrick's day.
click image for source
ladylike tuesday
balls.
starting a new 6am class schedule today
(shed-jewel since it's ladylike tuesday)
have no time for moments and pause
or even punctuation
iwillmaketimethoughforacrispwhiteshirt
with my collar buttoned high and my head cut off
i will eek out a wee bit of fancy
image: garance dore'
dreamy weekend
i had a horizontal weekend.
bliss.
any free moment was spent with favorite reclined in reverie.
books were finished and started.
our trees are full of baby birds! windows stay wide open and tv's stay silent: their loud, sweet, springtime song fills our house top to bottom.
the jasmine i planted last year opened her eyes yesterday. even priscilla lingers longer on the now perfumed patio.
this is what i choose to see, smell and hear.
happy monday loves.
click image for source
more squats for katie
[vimeo 9943586]
besides just being a rad song, this video made me feel a little naughty for watching.
impropriety quickly manifested into sick spite as i accepted the fact my bum is far from "on call" for cartoon. even in black and white.
extra side lying leg series today pour moi.
happy weekend loves.
artist/song: sebastien teller "look"
directors: petra mrzyk & jean-francois moriceau
ramblings.....
nothing to see here, move along. no shiny, twirly, tippy-toe news.
i have a sneeze that wakes me up every morning now, come two a.m. just one sneeze. he's polite that way. if sneeze's had accents his would most definitely sound british.
ah chew.
nathaniel winthorp chesterfield scratchy nose then scurries off until the next time i'm in dreamland, where he wakes me anon.
tis not pesty, although once i'm awoken i'd have greater chance throwing down half court for the lakers than falling quickly back to sleep.
so i read. waiting to be moved. hoping rather.
lately all my reads have had an overall chapstick flavor. not wretched, not grand. happily tolerable. {note i did not say cherry}
maybe it's just my mood still. a general matte finish upon everything i perceive. matte finish can be comely you know?
i must say, though, last night's dinner of chardonnay and peanut m &m's, candy colored in all shades of girl, was terribly delightful!!
so fa-la-la to that!
happy thursday!
lucas lost
not like it was a surprise, but still sad nonetheless.
at 10 years old my heart fell hard for cory h.
lucas was a big movie for me.
why was i smiling so much every time i'd see him on that silly screen?
why now was i suddenly starting to notice tommy rossi and jeremy siegel during recess?
cory h. lost me in the license to drive years. methinks that's when the white powder started replacing pepsi and burgers. later resulting into this:
i will try to keep him in my 4th grade memory as the boy who first piqued my fancy for all things romantic and ending happily.
i wonder which lucas cast member is next? remember this adorable fresh face?
cut to twenty years later, too much hollywood, too little dinners at home.....
tepid tuesday
i'm all out.
sapped dry.
parched.
no rococo ruffles or fancy feathers to whet my whistle today.
it's been a putty colored, purgatory morning.
are you in or are you out winter?
goosebumps still accessorize my outfits. still can't quite find the comfortable.
although, warm, eager, lilac colored toes demand flip flops.
i feel you winter. indecision is my new soundtrack.
i want to be out sharing smiles that start in our stomachs, finish in the corners of our eyes.
but how nice to return to the sack and get back those 3 hours.
wasted worrying. ridiculous ruminating.
screwy stuff like smile lines.
i'm going to sit. for a bit. in this lull.
tis not a bad or scary place. just beige.
i can smile knowing i'll be twirling in tulle by the week's end.
lest i drag my dears down in with me,
thought you might fancy these cool paintings.
spring hair
i know it's kind of an old trend, but i'm taking a liking to locks slashed with shades of pastel pretty.
the girly badass of it all, makes me happy.
kind of like a string of pearls and a filthy mouth.
even more giddisome is the all over pink shell:
a dreamy, flowery frosting,
but deep down 100% rebel rocker.
add a little smoke,
and throw your middle finger at the fear of grey hair.
sold.
pastel eyebrows though? no thank you. they can stay in wonderland.
images: knight cat, click photo.
happy weekend
cool beans! we're getting another rainstorm.
kick up my boots i will!
nothing like a rainy weekend to soar my spirit.
march mists rehydrate my gleeful and gamesome cells;
encouraging me to twirl in public again.
a cleansing of extravagance and excess. a replenished bucket of playful.
raindrops.
laughter.
twirling.
bliss.
embracing my inner betty draper
i'm a sucker for casseroles. love! love! love anything in an 9 x 9 baking dish. put a can of cream of mushroom soup and some dehydrated onions......i'm yours forever.
luckily hh shares my obsession for all things creamy, noodle-ly, and rectangular. his favorite is tuna casserole. i'm always trying to fancy it up a bit (sometimes that just involves wearing heels as i make it from a box though).
last night i made (from skeeeeee-ratch) the most delicious recipe from bon appetit's march issue. here's how it turned out:
leeks, celery seed and dill gave it a little glamour.
the mounds (i added SO much extra) of gruyere, gave it a european, let's savour this bite a bit longer, verve.
the crumpled salty potato chips made it 60's fabulous.
here's the recipe again.
with the exception of the cheese, i followed directions exactly. i went balls out on the gruyere. for the potato chips i used organic salted kettle brand.
still licking my lips.